Defense Against the Dark Arts

Now, I would like to specify what the Dark Arts are. The Dark Arts are the abilities that girls use to bewitch, entrance, or otherwise completely take over boys’s brains.

magicI don’t know if there is a suitable defense against this horrible and powerful Art, but if there is, then I would like to know before they get to me as well. Many of my friends have fallen to this, and it completely changes them.

The guys no longer want to hang out, and they seem to never have time to go into town. I think that women have abilities that we men can’t fathom, and this proves it.

My parents have been trying to teach me Defense Against the Dark Arts for a while, but I haven’t really got it. No matter what I do, I just sit there looking  like a fool…  ahh, well, you all will probably tell me there is no defense, and I have come to the conclusion that, you know what, I don’t really mind. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Defense Against the Dark Arts

  1. I speak as a former practioner — albeit of another age — however, not much changes. As I’ve alienated all my girl-friends (yep, we do call one another that), I’ve nothing left to lose.

    FIRST: nothing can be done about your friends. Your only hope there is to come up with excursions soooo irresistible they can’t refuse.

    SECOND: when the “new” wears off — and it will — and your friends look around and see you NOT suffering as they suffer, NOT curled up in a ball sucking your thumb because Sweetums has messed with your mind, they’ll come back. If for no other reason than to find out how the aitch you escaped that specific misery.

    THIRD: the Sweetumses of the world aren’t leaving town and there’ll never be a shortage, so the longer you hold out, the more they’ll mature, learn to change their tactics. Better yet, wait long enough and they’ll catch a glimpse of themselves in the “Mirror of Time” and realize how stupid and hollow a conquest is someone who had to be manipulated into finding you attractive.

    Hold out for level-headed, smart, educated women (after University is perfect) and you’ll realize: (A) it was just sex-appeal; (B) what you were feeling was generated by YOU and had nothing to do with them; and (C) a man or woman with a fully-developed Cerebral Cortex is much better company than a busload of giggling girls.

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  2. P.S. ….not that I really think you wanted advice….

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  3. by dark arts i guess you mean boobs?

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